You know, I think I’m running into something that I recall Ben Folds mentioning: that when you start becoming aware of larger things and reach an altitude where a new vista of ideas presents itself, you sort of suck for a while as you integrate these new ideas into your music.
I want to have some of the balls of the great composers when it comes to being content to noodle around and spend time on their ideas, instead of moving through them like powerpoint slides where you don’t want to let one get stale before moving onto the next. They are often happy to sit on an idea for a bit and suck the juice out of it before moving on, to just noodle and let people wait for the next thing.
I value my tendency to brevity. I like to follow the TV screenwriters’ advice to start as close to the end as you can, and when you get there, stop — and not to sit in one place for too long. Nevertheless, there’s a leonine confidence to figuring that one’s ideas are sufficiently good to just sit on them and let the listeners wait until the composer is damned good and ready to move on.
I’m also concerned that I haven’t yet mastered the level I’m on now and that I shouldn’t be eyeballing the stuff on the next level quite yet. However … I get bored easily.
I’ll just move ahead as I feel like it in the end. The nicest things about doing music as I do it include: I need satisfy no one but myself; a full belly and a roof over my head are not dependent on it; I can stop, start, and proceed at my leisure; I need not go in a linear fashion from start to end; and no one will die if I don’t get it exactly right. Hence, if I suck for a bit while new ideas soak in, so be it. 🙂