I’m just going back and ruminating on what I said about internal motivation, and it occurred to me: Man, this is fun. There is just nothing better than to make something where nothing existed previously.
This writing music stuff is a blast! And I not only never considered it as something I could do, but I never even tried. Oh maybe once or twice I might poke at a keyboard idly, for — I’m not kidding here — about nine seconds, stop, and then go back to the sheet music.
I cannot get over that this was lying there the whole time, buried in the sand in my hourglass, and it just took time for it to be revealed. 44 years of sand had drained out, and there was this lovely little gem sitting there that I would never have guessed had been hiding there all along.
Damn, this is fun. 🙂 Coming from very modest circumstances, not having the money, time, or opportunity to indulge in international travel, I had always wondered why Nature gave me such a near-autistic ability with languages if I could never exercise it like it was meant to be. Now, I finally figured out why I have that ability at such an eerie level: to write music. I don’t need to go anywhere to do it! In fact, I can hole up in my apartment like a monk for entire weekends! 🙂