Damn, this is turning out nicely!

“Lagrimar,” I mean. It’s turning out okay! I’m so anxious to do a good job with this.

I wish I’d started arranging and writing earlier, because this is really fun, and I suspect with time I’ll be quite good at it. I recall getting the “no no no, don’t play around, just play the notes as written, that’s how to do it right” attitude when I was a kid, and being my overachiever border-collie self, I was going to do that well. Especially with math, science, and art there as such welcoming outlets for creativity, I was happy to just Do It Right when it came to music. If I’d not been so good at those, I might have fought back more when it came to music. (If I had, I also think I would have enjoyed performing more.)

I think I needed 44 years to prune my mental activity forest in order to channel that desire for innovation and personal creativity into music. During the past few years, I really rather savagely cut back all of the unnecessary branches in that forest, uprooting and throwing out whole trees and groves. It was an ugly, painful process. But now that it’s done and I’m finished the mourning (mostly), it was the best thing I could ever have done. Now, the trees I value most have the room they need to grow.