The thing is —

— I don’t want to accumulate a million UFOs that never go anywhere. 😦

My current projects are:

Stuff where the sheet music already exists:

  1. the Ginastera
  2. “Bethena”

Stuff where the sheet music doesn’t already exist:

  1. Arrangements:
    1. “Con rauco mormorio”
  2. Compositions:
    1. That stupid C#m thing
    2. The other thing in Ebm that I completed the first part of and haven’t moved on since
  3. Noodly bits:
    1. That little idea in what might be D mixolydian, like DM with a Cnat

This list doesn’t even include the sawing on the viola that I’m still doing!

I am acutely nervous about adding in anything else because I don’t want to have a dozen incomplete projects floating around that never get done because I’m always adding something new and running out of steam when the time comes to do the hard grind part of the work. I detest that. Nothing is accomplished in situations like that. Ever. Perhaps more to the point, I don’t want to be the type of person who gets all excited about something in the first flush of inspiration and then peters out when it stops being inspiration and starts being work. And I want to be able to call done on the things I’m doing. The list of stuff I’ve completed is considerably shorter:

Stuff I’ve actually finished:

  1. “Gabriela’s Smile” — a page
  2. “Streetlights and Snow” — a page and a line
  3. “There All Along” — three pages and two lines
  4. “Moon of Memory” — probably not even a page, but I don’t know for sure since it’s not in Lilypond yet

And I just got bombed with a strong sense that I want to start messing around with “Infinity.” Finally. The zenith of my rock world that has been intimidating the living daylights out of me since I started arranging and composing. Why it hit now I have no idea.

And I want it to be piano-only. Later on, I’d still love to do my dream book of “Seven Journey Ballads for Viola and Piano,” but for now, keyboard-only. No sheet music, just by-ear. And yes, I will write down my arrangements even if I can never share them. (I hate writing rock songs down. The constant suspensions are a nightmare in Western notation.) Bands never license anything but crappy big-note garbage of their top ten hits.

And that means adding to the above list, which is ridiculous and already too freaking long. I pretty much resigned myself to putting the C#m into the deep-freeze this coming weekend; I’ve been making noises like that for some time and still can’t force myself to do it, but it’s got to happen. I feel no emotional connection to it and don’t want to keep pounding fruitlessly at it just for the sake of pounding. (Yeah, right.) We’ll see if I can actually keep that promise this time. Stubbornness is nice, but there comes a time when you need to just make an executive decision.

I can start messing with “Infinity” and get the bit between my teeth more for the rest of “Mormorio” and just power through that. Arranging is a bit easier, motivation wise, I think. It’s been done, you just need to find a way to present it that keeps the basic grammar and impact of the original. So if I stick that damned C#m into some tupperware and shove it in the freezer, then I’ve only got the Ebm that I’ve hit a pause point on. If I power through the rest of the first theme of “Mormorio” and start noodling with “Lights,” that might be doable. And when I either feel my technique slipping or don’t feel particularly *I*N*S*P*I*R*E*D* creatively, I’ll hammer at the Ginastera and the Joplin.

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