Going in circles

I keep saying it, and I keep not doing anything about it since the damned thing doesn’t want to cooperate structurally.

I do not have a good conception of the large-scale structure of the C#m. The Fm was tough, but at least I knew when I had finished a certain part of it. I introduced something, repeated it with some interesting deviations, and then moved on.

I don’t seem to be able to see the “chunks” in the C#m. It’s aimless. I’m just wandering, expecting to know when I’m done, and it’s not working — because that sort of thing never does. It’s the sort of floofy nonsense that you get out of an Oprah self-help book that never actually helps you achieve anything. “Just do it” is not another way of saying “just throw some crap up there, let some of it stick, and call it done.”

One of the problems with this thing is that the final downbeat of each section is also the start of the pickup for the next section. It’s hard to separate each one out in my head as a result.

I need to go home and just play this thing bit by bit. I need to stop moving through the pickup measures to the next section on autopilot and just stop. Get used to the two 8-measure bits that make up each section as individual sections, and see what the gimmick is in each one and how it relates to that stupid 8-measure intro that I haven’t gotten back to yet, or see what I’d like to turn it into when I do get back to it with the insight gained from developing each gimmick.

I also think I’m going to slow down this business about having the final downbeat for one section function as the pickup for the next for the next piece, although I’ll see it through in this one. That, in a long piece, is a lot to bite off at once, especially for a newbie, and this thing is a solid wall of that. That’s probably the gimmick for this thing. It’s exhausting.