There is ONE stupid chord in the second theme of “Bethena” that I cannot hit without rolling! It’s driving me bonkers. It distracts me when I play that theme, and I can’t pay attention to the rest of the stupid thing because that one chord is looming in my brain the whole time. I can’t think of the other issues in that theme — and it’s a challenging one, so there are many — and I can’t think of interpretive issues, either. 100% of my attention is on not rolling that goddamned chord, and I need to just squash this problem completely and do it now.

IIRC, it’s an Eb/Bb/C just before the theme starts up again for the second time, and I hit it sloppy every. Single. Time. I can very occasionally make it work by rotating my right elbow into my ribcage, but that’s not solving the problem. The problem is in the hand, and using the arm to solve it is like sweeping the mess under the rug; it still peeks out from time to time. The problem is in the hand, and it only shows up at speed, so it’s hard to zero in on just what’s causing the issue. This is where I would benefit from having a good teacher looking at me from the outside while I’m playing.

Maybe I can try other fingerings, I don’t know. It’s also sandwiched between two other chords that require different orientations to the hand to get them right. Technique-wise, it’s like having two bites of chicken curry with a bite of chocolate cake between them.

I’ve got to just keep banging away at that one phrase in various ways until that roll gets gone. This has gone on long enough, and I’m sick of it. I want that stupid chord to not roll anymore so I can start paying mind to the rest of the theme. I have had it with this.