Fitzpatrick — Melody 2

It is extraordinarily difficult to refine an ugly piece of music. Not only because I dislike making those noises, but because I can’t judge how I am supposed to “improve” them. X sounds like garbage — and somehow I need to suss out what different flavor of garbage I am actually in pursuit of and then aim for it. This is incredibly difficult. How does one improve something where the whole concept of “improvement” is a matter of judgment? If I were to improve this melody, I’d play the first one over again.

It’s also technically a pain since it involves techniques that are 1) unfamiliar, 2) ugly, and 3) therefore hard. Throwing the bow into the string just doesn’t make a nice noise. Similarly, pizzicato is, always has been, and in my estimation always will be an ugly technique. These instruments are not guitars — they are not meant to be plucked and they sound like garbage when they are.

These techniques are new, difficult, and ugly. That’s three reasons why they are incredibly hard to refine, and it’s the third that’s the killer. I’m not looking forward to this thing and will probably take some time to move past it.

And I still can’t figure out how to keep my third finger from going sharp after using the fourth. All in all, an annoying, frustrating, unpleasant night of practice. Looking forward to a silent night’s sleep.

It has given me a bit of insight as to why my trills always have and always will stink on the piano, though. I can’t stand listening to trills on a piano, with extremely limited exceptions. They sound ugly, and I don’t like to make them as a consequence. They put my teeth on edge, and I don’t do them well because I can’t force myself to want to do them at all. Even when I try to do them just to “eat my vegetables” in a way, I can’t wait until that horrible noise stops. I hadn’t realized that before tonight. I can’t do trills because I find them ugly and hence can’t wait to stop doing them when I’m forced to by the printed music. That is why I’m a hobby musician and not a pro.

It also indicates that this piece of music will be a real bear for me, unfortunately. I wish there were another way to get the techniques down.

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