I know I’ve said this before, but …

It’s bothering me that I keep coming back to one reason why the piano continually pulls me away from the viola:

I cannot fathom putting that much effort into something that only makes one note at a time. I’ve said this before, I know.

I love the sound of the thing. I can certainly get a 15″ instrument that would make my life easier, or a 14″ octave fiddle that would allow me to go deeper and yet play something smaller. And I adore the idea of playing something portable and more expressive.

But, there always seems to be a small part of my brain that does the doggy head-tilt when it regards these devices as simply oddball stochastically evolved machines for making one sound at a time of a particular, completely arbitrary character. And I can’t shake that conclusion, no matter how much I’d like to.

I wish I could find a full universe in a one-note-at-a-time instrument. They are smaller, lighter, and infinitely portable. They are buskable in a way that a piano isn’t — although the idea of buying a Yammie Portable Grand would make even taking a long weekend vacation infinitely more bearable for me. To be able to take a nice few days in a beach house without stewing and fidgeting for want of a piano would be glorious.

But at any rate, no matter how hard I want to shift it, that inevitable brick in the punch bowl* — that I can’t find enough interest in one note at a time — doesn’t seem to want to move. I seem to really love the abstract structure of what I’m creating almost more than the thing itself, more than the sounds. It’s more musical algebra than arithmetic, algebra being the underlying structure of arithmetic that’s left when the individual numbers are removed.

I think I’ve just got to let myself be a pianist.

I wonder what it is about single-note instruments that can attract so many people. My old viola teacher was one of those sorts — violin, viola, trumpet, saxophone, clarinet, and probably a few more I’m forgetting … and he was very, very good at all of them. Really good. Clearly, there was something there for him where he was able to find a universe of structure and detail in each individual note that satisfied him. I simply cannot do that. I can’t find enough interest in the character of the sound itself to sustain me. It’s multi-voice or nothing. (The only one-note-at-a-time instrument that I think I truly do love is the voice.)

I think of music as a sort of three-dimensional tinkertoy in space (hell, I think of everything like that: music, math, languages, everything). The tinkertoy shape itself is the abstract structure of the music, revealed by the notes placed at the vertices. Pianos, because they can create gobs of notes at once, can build awesomely complex structures, revealing them by placing the pretty but relatively uncomplex mass-produced notes at the points. Single-note instruments can only place one note at a time and are hence much more limited in the complexity of the structures they can build, but those notes are the most glittering, perfectly polished jewels you can imagine, sparkling away at the vertices of that tinkertoy. I guess it depends on what you find more beautiful, the shape of the tinkertoy or the gems stuck to its vertices. For me, it’s undoubtedly the shape. I don’t anticipate that other pianists will automatically agree with me; the instrument is huge, and has many facets that can appeal to many people for all kinds of reasons.

The longer I do this, especially writing, the more I seem to regard a piano as just a big typewriter. And the beauty of the ideas written in the pages of a book doesn’t depend on the beauty of the font. You want a book to be readable and minimally attractive, with a nice font well-suited not to tire the eye but beyond that, anything else isn’t overwhelmingly necessary. A good book can certainly be an artistic item in itself, but Edgar Allan Poe’s poems are just as beautiful even if you’re reading a cheap purple mimeograph from the 1970s.

I say this with some mourning.

And let’s face it, the piano also has the unparalleled advantage of not totally effing up your body six ways from Sunday while you play it. Ergonomically, it’s a dreamland compared to almost any other instrument. That’s also a big problem with me and that damned viola as well — wanting to just settle into the sound and play something a thousand times because let’s face it, I love falling into that sort of repetitive thing for relaxation — and being defeated by the fact that I simply cannot hold my arm in that position for long enough to let that happen. With the piano, I can just sit there and go over and over and over, trying things slightly differently each time, just letting myself relax with each repetition. Single-note instruments ask so much from the body, and for such a thin broth in return. Pianos ask comparatively little, and give back so much more.

* This is a Robin Williams metaphor. Almost. Be glad I bowdlerized it. He didn’t say “brick.”

Ryan Thomson — a.k.a Captain Fiddle

4stringjoe on YouTube

You’ll find videos here of him playing on both sides; a natural right-hander, he came down with focal dystonia and could only manage by re-teaching himself to bow with his left hand. As a result of his experiences, he became a strong advocate for people bowing with their natural dominant hand, saying that after many years of playing left-handed, he was still nowhere near as good as he was as a righty. The videos showing him bowing right-handed are, of course, much older than the current lefty ones.

Left-handed string playing continues to bring me joy and make me smile just watching it. :-) As a lefty, you sort of get resigned to seeing everything done bass-ackwards from how you’d like it because let’s face it, we have no choice. So seeing more left-handed bowing — and by a right-handed ally — means a lot to me. He’s a wonderful guy as well, and any left-hander who is interested in learning a string instrument and bowing with the proper hand for us is encouraged to check him out.

Clicking on “left hand” in my tag cloud will also take you to some of my various posts on the topic of left-handed music making as well.

I seem to have a vibrato. I’ll be damned.

Helpful tips:

1) Supporting the thing with your jaw and shoulder so your scroll hand is free to move back and forth. (This is why the right setup is so important.) Seeing a video of changes in chinrest pressure while shifting helped me realize that you are supposed to hold onto the damned thing with your head sometimes and not just mildly stabilize it. While it’s not good to clamp down as if your life depends on it, you do have to hold onto it from time to time.

2) Using my arm muscles and not my wrist to vibrate has made a huge difference. The wrist is loose, but the vibration is coming from the arm muscles.

3) Using the pad of my fingertip and not the tip has also made a huge difference, because it seems to increase the “stickiness” needed to made my first knuckle rock back and forth when I move my arm, instead of having my fingertip lift up and down or slide back and forth over the string.

It’s really nice to be able to make a warmer, move “living” sound with the thing. I think I still need to move the shoulder rest around some though, just to get it more optimized.

And honestly, I’m not using it in music at this point. I’m just sort of getting used to doing it and need to do it with scales and things before anything else, to get used to it with all my fingers and on all the strings. Shifting will add another layer of complexity to this as well.

In other words, this is the advice of a rank beginner at this. It’s worth what you paid for it.

And I will ultimately need to get used to doing it with my pinky, too. Right now, I can only slowly manage it with index, middle, and ring fingers.

Once again …

… I learn the lesson that I dislike viola when I’m composing on the piano, and then learn to like it again when I’m done with a piece. I just need to say out loud that, for now, the viola fills in the cracks between piano compositions.

It was fun last night, though. I really do have a weird relationship to that thing.

Scraped around on the viola last night

Still resentful at its ergonomic insanity in general, but it was fun. I still need to get geared pegs on it and dremel out part of the chinrest, though. When I’m unusually stressed out, it’s nice to just autistically focus on one noise only for a little bit. Does tire out my shoulder, though.

I seriously want to get a cheap 15″, though.

What confuses me about vibrato

I simply cannot grasp how one moves the hand — requiring some muscle tension, obviously — and manages to press down the fingertip to the fingerboard, and simultaneously keep the first knuckle loose enough to rock back and forth.

How does one transfer weight into the tip of the finger without passing that weight through the first knuckle? You can’t have a hinged board and press down on one side, and have that pressure translate through to the other side without it passing through the hinge as well. You can’t transfer pressure through a hinged board and keep the hinge loose enough to wobble at the same time.

I simply don’t get it. Now, I’m nowhere near where I need to be to start worrying about this and given my track record of loveloveloveGET!IT!AWAY!, I imagine it will be um … a while … before I’m ready to even care about it. But I just cannot think through how this works. And I know that until I can wrap my brain around it, it’s even less likely to happen.

When I get annoyed with and/or love the viola and why

I think it’s based on what I’m writing. If I’m in the swampy mudpile at the heart of a piece in progress, then the thing gathers dust. If I make it out of the other end of a piece bloody, stitched up, and ready to collapse, then the thing gathers dust.

If I make it out the other end of a piece with a decent sense that I’m an okay musician, then it’s Viola Time.

I think I’m just finding out why the first thing that hit me after I started writing music was that I couldn’t do that and learn viola at the same time. The high-level thinking required to do composition and the low-level thinking required to be a beginner on any instrument are just pretty much not good for my brain at the same time. I can either be at 30,000′ or a half-inch off the ground, but not at the same time.

I’m also pondering getting a GAMA-level 15″ righty viola from Gliga and just bringing it to my luthier to get it converted. He’s done conversions before, so it’s not too peculiar. And I’d get geared pegs on it, too. I’m sick of “clunk!” sharp *clunk!* flat *clunk!* shit. I’m really still on the fence about this whole thing.

*sigh*

I wish I could decide whether the intense emotion I feel about the viola is love or hate. I can’t seem to make up my mind. It’s like what a writer I knew once said about Emmenthal cheese slices. You eat one, and you can’t make up your mind whether you like it or hate it, so you eat another, and pretty soon you’ve finished an entire package of Emmenthal cheese slices and you still can’t figure out whether you love it or hate it.

I know that the scale would tip slightly toward the “love” end of the spectrum if I would just bite the bullet, tell my inner macho to STFU, and get a 14″ viola. Gliga doesn’t make a 15″-er. I think Singing Woods does, though. I need to go find out again.

Damn it. All this for an instrument that I can’t decide if I even want to play it or not.